Concepts
| community...empowerment....peace...threshold...
Compassionate Communication |
Community:
We are co-creating a micro-community culture. Like many
other micro-communities, i.e. residential communities, church /
religious communities, school or work communities, we have a common
"glue" that holds us together. We use a common "language",
share values and make agreements, spoken or unspoken, all in support
of the core beliefs and goals that bring us together. Thus, we create
a sub-culture within the greater culture around us. It is in this
"container" that we can learn and practice, play and build
rapport, work and strive toward our personal and collective goals.
Empowerment: Are you choosing it? Here is a working definition
of empowerment: Doing something that serves the highest for yourself
or others when it is easier or habitual to follow unhealthy or unfulfilling
patterns of behavior. There is a line of tension between comfort
and discomfort, a line of tension between doing something familiar
or compelling to serve an unexamined or unhealthy situation or pattern
in one’s life and making a conscious choice to serve a higher
goal. Even if one doesn’t change a behavior, there can be
an acceptance and decision to choose to do it instead of being victim
to it. These are places where we can meet “empowerment”.
Say, "YES!" to yourself. When we step over that line and
choose something supporting health and well-being, when we say “yes”
to the expression of our greatest potential, we feel empowered.
Making a decision to take a chance and step over that line of safe
familiarity toward something that could lead to self-discovery and
challenge toward greater goals is a "threshold" opportunity.
"Stretch" over that Threshold! Here are some
standard definitions: 1. any doorway or entrance; 2. the starting
point of an experience, event, or venture; 3. The point that must
be exceeded to begin producing a given effect or result or to elicit
a response. A threshold experience, is
personal and universal. It could be something as private as writing
in a journal or as public as singing in the local church. A threshold
is the place where we meet our greatest inspiration and our deepest
fears. And though our little private victories and bravery are completely
valid and meaningful, there is something magical or almost epic
about being witnessed by others who also deeply know the courage
it takes to step out of our comfort zone over that almost imperceptible
threshold.
An attitude of learning: Empowerment is freedom
to choose something different. It doesn’t mean we always choose
the “right” thing if we choose with an attitude of learning.
We are free to choose the “wrong” thing, but we feel
empowered when we know we are free to make that choice and we can
choose to learn from it. We find peace when we freely choose what
serves our personal highest in attunement with what’s highest
for the community and the planet.
Compassionate Communication is often used to describe
Marshall Rosenberg's Nonviolent Communication (NVC).
"Its purpose is to:
1. create human connections that empower compassionate giving and
receiving
2. create governmental and corporate structures that support compassionate
giving and receiving
NVC involves both communication skills that foster compassionate
relating and consciousness of the interdependence of our well being
and using power with others to work together to meet the needs of
all concerned.
This approach to communication emphasizes compassion as the motivation
for action rather than fear, guilt, shame, blame, coercion, threat
or justification for punishment. In other words, it is about getting
what you want for reasons you will not regret later. NVC is NOT
about getting people to do what we want. It is about creating a
quality of connection that gets everyone’s needs met through
compassionate giving." -- from the cnvc.org
website
Peace "inside YOUth" When we say YOUth, we mean
that all of us need to find peace inside to create it outside. Though
many think of this as a spiritual pursuit, inner peace is also affected
by the things we tell ourselves, the thoughts, beliefs and judgements
we have inside. Marshall Rosenberg, developer and teacher of Nonviolent
Communication (NVC) talks about Jackal consciouness, which is blaming,
judging, labeling, and generally making decisions about whether
something or someone is right or wrong and punishing or rewarding
based on a domination hierarchy. Jackal indoctrination is part of
our Western culture and it is directed toward ourselves and others.
In NVC he uses the metaphor of the Giraffe (which has the largest
heart of any land animal) to represent NVC consciousness and actions
based on feelings and needs, using observations and requests, and
giving ourselves and others empathy and compassion. The CO.MUNITY
Project starts with the Rite of Passage to begin our journey toward
peace because youth are making a choice to challenge themselves
to journey toward a fulfilling and conscious adulthood. Because
the staff and mentors are also making a commitment to guide and
model behavior and communication for youth to support our goals
of peace inside, they are also striving to shift away from old "jackal
consciousness" to a more compassionate need-serving actions
and communication.
Peace "In RELATionships" Humans are relational
Beings. When young people are coming of age, their peer relationships
are so very pivotal to their developmental needs and their sense
of fulfillment and joy. CO.MUNITY Project teaches skills to help
youth RELATe with each other and in inter-generational community
toward the goal of peace in relationships. If we are at "war"
with each other or ourselves due to arguments, righteousness, blame,
jealousy, guilt, then we are at war. As long as we have "enemy
images", as Marshall Rosenberg calls them, then it is difficult
for us to express understanding and empathy in ourselves and with
others. We teach compassionate communication, conflict resolution,
diversity celebration and "power sharing" decision-making
to co-create peace in relationships.
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